My Arse For Sale

It’s funny, the country I used to live in, 500 posh nobs sat in Westminster managed to push through a law stating to 40 million people that they have to front £300 before you can sell you house or put it on the market for some eco crap that is neither here nor there as it all depends on how fat the person buying is and whether they’re hot blooded or not. I’d like to publicly announce that every one of those MPs that voted that through, is a

Moving on, I’m not yet as I have to raise £300 to do that. The title? Well if you use an accent you can pretend I’m saying house but as this post is covering two subjects, it fits rather well, moving on to my arse which also can fit rather well - it’s a manly deriere. It has sat in thousands of different chairs, possibly worn over 1000 pairs of underwear, at least I would hope.

I’m selling it. I need money again, what is it with me and money that I always need the bloody stuff. I just offered nineteen domains, a good bundle for £300 nicker, any response yet? None. The deadline is midnight, I’m trying, maybe not hard enough but I’m trying. I have about 15 hours to get together £300 so I can pay my landlord 3300 lei Wednesday night, I have 2000 lei (£442) in hand so not impossible. This used to be easy.

I feel a sales spurt coming on as after I raise this next £300, I need another £563 to cover losses this month (£500 / £63) perhaps another £200 if I don’t get a reply from one customer, so losing £763 in a week has brought me back down to my knees – no wonder I’m selling my arse and my house. Funny, I can sell my arse and no one will moan or legislate against that, no carbon emission testing certificate to show everybody how warm it is or footprints yet I need £300 to sell my house. I know where I’d like to leave my footprint.

Look at this for a bargain

realcams.co.uk £
opportunitiesabroad.co.uk £
home-videos.co.uk £
roomsavailable.co.uk £
ground.org.uk £
east-end.co.uk £
qwerk.co.uk £
designhub.co.uk £
historiclandmarks.co.uk £
mytarot.co.uk £
signal.org.uk £
digitalmediaproduction.co.uk £
executives.org.uk £
scubacity.co.uk £
floor-boards.co.uk £
home-letting.co.uk £
betting-advice.co.uk £
power-generators.co.uk £
designpanel.co.uk £

I can confirm that domainers and developers are mad, they’re zombies. All of these are recent catches. Some have traffic, some have had offers. I’ll leave the offer out there a bit but Wednesday may well be another Grand Old Day, I’ve been let down on three fronts and I’m not enjoying this one little bit. I have made plans and they involve others. Target for Friday, £763.

I could have pushed one client for advance payment on one service but I’m holding out to be fair. That’s worth a few hundred. I have £30 on the way and another £500 from somewhere else but that’s all accounted for and spent already. I’m going on holiday for three days next week, only cheap but a timely get away in the Romanian countryside (mountains). I did mention that I hadn’t been away since the start of October.

I had better go away and think up some prices for Wednesday’s show, all it is £300, that’s six people at £50 each or two at £150 how difficult can it be? I guess by 10pm Wednesday night we shall find out by the look on the landlord’s face. And yes I do want more money but as I can only take out £300 a day there’s no point deliberating about more than what’s required.

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